Sebastian Jace Savage-Sibley

Sebastian Jace Savage-Sibley July 6, 2019 Born Sleeping To: Ashton and Taytiyana Savage-Sibley “What can I say, Little man? We were supposed to bring you home. We sat in your room the night before my water broke, talking about you. Now we get to go home to a room that we won't open until we're able to deal with it being empty. You look so much like your daddy. You have his face. his nose, his ears, you're pretty much a spitting image of him. You have my chin and rosy cheeks though. You have the most hair I've ever seen on a baby, dark like daddies, it's styled in the cutest little Mohawk, that I can't bring myself to put a hat back on. You got the longest toes and fingers that I can't just cover up. Your eyelashes are the longest things and you have the best smell ever. I'm taking as many pictures as I can because i know that's all we're gonna have left of you soon and it's not fair. I should be awake feeding you right now and providing you comfort but somehow, I feel like I failed. But there was nothing that could've prevented this, knots in cords happen all the time I know. But god damn it. Why my baby? Why us? I'm angry. I'm hurt I'm confused I'm just lost. I'm a mess of things. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be feeling, I'm not sure what I'm supposed to say. There's a piece missing of me that I'm never gonna know what his favorite color is or if he has his daddy's eyes or mine. If he was a sports kid or a book kid. All I know is that I'm missing something I never I never prepared to miss, because it was a healthy pregnancy all along besides just some high blood pressure. You're perfect little man. Daddy was saying earlier tonight that he misses feeling you move closer to him, as I was crying because I didn't have a belly to love and poke at anymore, Because it doesn't matter where he was, if he was next to me, you had to be next to him and how hard you kicked every time you heard his voice. You knew who daddy was and I know you love him. I know you're free now. Either as a bird in the sky or a turtle in the ocean. I just wished we could've loved you longer than what we did. I'm selfish like that, and I'm not sorry about it.” —Mommy

Sebastian Jace Savage-Sibley

July 6, 2019 - July 6, 2019